Liver and onions pizza is a winner. But you already knew that.

I slept fitfully last night which means I had lots of wacky, spooky dreams. They say that the best way to solve problems in in dreamland. Well, thanks, brain. We did it. Allow me to set the stage.


I was sitting at K-Mart's new bar having a goblet of some fruity vodka drink I normally would never stomach. It's great. So great we blow the place off and go to a party down the road aways and there's a whole spread of fruits and pate and a charcuterie. I notice the centerpiece is a pizza. I ask our host, a portly fellow with a Van Dyke, "say, what's the deal with the pizza?"

"It's liver and onions," he replied.

That's all I remember but it was more than enough. That's the kind of idea that's going to be either really weird or pretty great. There's no middle ground when you're in the kitchen at parties, which come to think of it is exactly where I found my dream-pizza.

Okay, that's made up. What really happened is I needed a little extra money to waste on animal livers and beer. So I signed up for some kinda study thing where a man in a lab coat whispers sweet nothings in my ear all night whilst I slumber. I mean, I hope they're sweet nothings. Actually, I think he must have been discussing blue light specials, Sex and the City, Italian-American cuisine, manhole covers, and the dating stylings of Emile Hirsch. Since that's how it ended up. Here's a photo for posterity:




Yeah, I've got a funny-looking apartment. Years of practice. So, that explains the dream, I suppose. Well, the first one anyway.


At any rate, I went to work this morning and if that dad-gum place is good for nothing else I can at least make pizzas there. So, I fried a big heaping handful of juilenned onions in a saute pan and added about a half of the livers I had leftover from earlier. Which means I should be great on Vitamin A. Speaking of which, you should never eat the liver of a carnivore because you will die of a VITAMIN A OVERDOSE!!! Just so you know. Once the onions are nice 'n' sweaty like your dear blog author here you should dump in some livers. Flip it around, then chop 'em a little and when they're still a little bit pink dump 'em on your pizza crust, cheese it, then cheese it through the oven. I used a thick American pizza style dough, but I really think it would have been better to use less cheese and a thin crust that will get crispy. So, whatever pizza crust you normally make when you make pizza dough at home or you can go buy one at the Midtown or wherever. But trust me, this pizza is DYN-O-MITE. But not if you don't like livers. And if you don't like livers I really don't think you should read my blog anyway.

Oh yeah, I still don't have a photograph-making device. But here's a photo of me and my main squeeze eating another tray of pizza at a popular dance hall downtown. I really hate how this photo makes me look bald but that's my favorite tie: